im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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