she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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