I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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