Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
