***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
