put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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