i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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