Your dad touched me again.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
