She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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