2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
