OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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