i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
