I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
