So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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