I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
