well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
