When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
