woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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