i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
