You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
where are my eyebrows?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
