This girl is more easily done than said...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
