Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
