Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
