I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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