I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
