I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
