and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
