god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
people are starting to question the shark bite story
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
