when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
