perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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