BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We left the knife in your bed.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
