he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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