No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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