Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
These tits shall not be calmed
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
