Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
