What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
