I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
