can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
