Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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