I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Randomize
