Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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