A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
