did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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