and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
