I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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