Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
