you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
