She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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