Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste

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(831): View more from California

Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers

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(347): View more from New York

Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(

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(224): View more from Illinois

I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.

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