sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize