That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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